Jordan Belfort: It had nothing to fucking do with me! She had been my mistress, for Chrissake! You hear me? My fucking warriors, who will not hang up the phone till their client either buys. He didn't mean any of it. With Tenor, maker of GIF Keyboard, add popular Wolf Of Wall Street animated GIFs to your conversations. 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Let the consequences of failure become so dire and so unthinkable that youll have no choice but to do whatever it takes to succeed., The easiest way to make money is -create something of such value that everybody wants and go out and give and create value, the money comes automatically., I've got the guts to die. R (Graphic Nudity|Drug Use|Language Throughout|Some Violence|Strong Sexual Content), Comedy, It's like lasers. Let me lock in that trade right now and get back to you with my secretary with an exact confirmation. And I choose rich every fuckin' time. But it's not like what you think or whatever, you know Jordan Belfort: Go on. That's my boy right there. [narration] You could pay off your mortgage. If you have 60 seconds, I'd like to share the idea with you. FYI boys, Danielle has promised to use this $10,000 for breast implants. A New York stockbroker refuses to cooperate in a large securities fraud case involving corruption on Wall Street, corporate banking world and mob infiltration. We require immediate assistance! There was this one time I was selling pot to this Amish dude. Saurel! You mailed in my company a postcard a few weeks back, requesting information on penny stocks that had huge upside potential with very little downside risk. When you do something, you might fail. No, there's no alcohol. Fugayzi, fugazi. Implosions are ugly. Pick up the phone and start dialing! Now that I'm under federal indictment with an electronic bracelet around my ankle, now you decide you don't fucking love me anymore. Want me to come for you? If you agree to the divorce right now, I will allow visitation. [Pretends to walk away, but suddenly turns back]. Jordan Belfort: This is our golden ticket to the fuckin' Chocolate Factory, right here. Jordan Belfort: It was like mainlining adrenaline. A master diver! Is he fucking crazy? In fact, back in the good old days, when getting blasted over lunch was considered normal corporate behavior, the IRS referred to these types of expenses as three-martini lunches! I can't close this briefcase. I got a blinkling light because I don't have shit from you. Last month you were a wine connoisseur, and now youre an aspiring landscape architect, Isnt that right? Jordan Belfort, You got my money taped to your tits, honey. On cocksucking, motherfucking new issue day? But it gets even better, baby. It's startin' to shit in the house again. But who the fuck wanted to live there? Jordan Belfort, Let me tell you something. No, Daddy doesn't even get to touch Mommy for a very, very very long time. Your email address will not be published. All right? Jordan Belfort: [Naomi walks in on a gay orgy] I am a master diver, you hear that? You wanna fuck me? Naomi Lapaglia: If you sell $10,000 worth of this stock, I will personally give you a blowjob for free. [pushes him away with her legs] Max Belfort: We don't start dialing at 9:30, because our clients are already answering the phone! On new issue day? Number one rule of Wall Street. Naomi Lapaglia: Your profit on a mere $6,000 investment could be upwards of $60,000! Huh? Rugrat gets busted down in Miami, and guess who happens to be with him? That's the fuckin' point. Benihana Beni-fucking-hana? Brad: That's right! I haven't made love to you in so long. Shit, I can sell lubes to a convent full of nuns, get 'em so horny they'll be fucking each other in the coffers. The movie, starring Leonardo DiCaprio as Jordan Belfort was, in my opinion, a masterpiece by director Martin Scorsese. Now, right now, John, the stock trades over-the-counter at 10 cents a share. Mmm, baby. Brad: [to Jordan after the incident] The Wolf of Wall Street is a 2013 American biographical crime black comedy film directed by Martin Scorsese and written by Terence Winter, based on the 2007 memoir of the same name by Jordan Belfort. Funny, self-referential, and irreverent to a fault. Brad: Turn around! But if you can make your clients money at the same time it's advantageous to everyone, correct? Jordan Belfort: Jordan Belfort: The Wolf of Wall Street has many lessons to learn from and brings to light something very real and raw in society, how even those with the best of intentions can fall prey to negative influences. Like, Run free! You know? Donnie Azoff, There was this one time I was selling pot to this Amish dude. But it wasn't a poisonous silence. Hold on! This is a fucking mayday! More importantly, you will learn. [Wakes up on plane; finds he is restrained by a seatbelt across his chest] Pick up the phone and start dialing! Jordan Belfort: Jordan Belfort: Donnie, this isn't this isn't funny, you gotta untie me, buddy. Donnie Azoff: I love you so much. I haven't eaten all day. Fuck you! Does it even matter to you that I just had that driving range sodded with Bermuda grass, Jordan, and now you fucking wrecked it! There are solid performances from all the main and supporting characters. Jordan Belfort: Why? It's flooded! Mark Hanna: Yeah. Does your girlfriend think you're a fucking worthless loser? Im not like, gonna let someone else fuck my cousin, you know? it doesnt exist. Oh, my God. Brad: Jordan Belfort: Every person around here, they want to get rich and they want to get rich quickly. [raves at Brad] Is there an apology message on the machine?" I fucked her brains out for eleven seconds. All Quotes Jordan Belfort: Jordan Belfort: Let the consequences of failure become so dire and so unthinkable that youll have no choice but to do whatever it takes to succeed. Jordan Belfort, If you want to be rich, never give up. Donnie Azoff: Oh, no. Naomi Lapaglia: Jordan Belfort: 101 Marianne Williamson Quotes That Will Enlighten You, 50 The Alchemist Quotes To Make You Follow Your Dreams, 195 Best Cobra Kai Quotes (Seasons 1 5), 70 Attack On Titan Quotes That Will Inspire Greatness, Your email address will not be published. Share the best GIFs now >>> The Wolf of Wall Street is one of the most iconic films of the 21st century Credit: Alamy. Jordan, this is how it's gonna go. Donnie Azoff: Naomi Lapaglia: Back in the 1990s, Belfort ran. [flashes to Jordan having sex with Naomi] GET OFF THE PHONE! Go to a trading floor on Wall street. Right! Pop off to the bathroom, work one out any time you can. Jordan Belfort: a depend on what exactly? Mommy, have you ever noticed anything odd about Mr. Jordan Belfort: Just a moment while we sign you in to your Goodreads account. What the fuck does that even mean? Who the fuck has the goddamn gall to call this house on a Tuesday night? Babe, why you doing it like that? An I.P.O. Jesus Christ, I think you have a fuckin' drug problem. Jordan Belfort: You want me to sell you this fucking pen? I'm pretty fucking sure. Now let's knock this motherfucker out of the park! One day, you will do it right. What? Mark Hanna: When we arrived to prison, I was absolutely terrified. The Matthew McConaughey's Wolf Of Wall Street chant soon became of the most iconic parts of the movie and is right up there in popularity with the actor's own " Alright, alright, alright " from Dazed And Confused. If youre into films about money, sales, success and that rags to riches story then it is all of that with a bunch of crazy, obscene and extreme all thrown in. You understand? Doesn't even matter to you! You don't think I'm gonna see my fucking kids again, huh? Naomi Lapaglia: Oh my God! You can give generously to your church or political party of your choice. Jordan Belfort, You wanna know what money sounds like? Jordan Belfort: Who's a faggot? You're not taking my kids, sweetheart. Once we sucker them in, we unload the dog shit. Good luck on that subway ride home to your miserable ugly fuckin' wives. Well that's good news. You know what a fugazi is? I don't wanna die, Jordan! Jordan Belfort: Nothing. Jordan Belfort: No, I'm not fucking letting you near my kids! The year I turned 26, I made 49 million dollars, which really pissed me off because it was three shy of a million a week. Jordan Belfort, You see money doesnt just buy you a better life, better food, better cars, better women, it makes you actually a better person. You called the captain the n-word. The nice thing about getting rescued by Italians is that they feed you, make you drink red wine, then you get to dance. I gotta tell you. The name of the company, Aerotyne International. Jordan Belfort: I told you, you're not taking my fucking kids. Eventually Ben married her, which was pretty amazing, considering she blew every single guy in the office. Guys with sales experience. Good luck on that subway ride home to your miserable, ugly fucking wives. Sides? Jordan Belfort: Jordan Belfort: Well, he says that he only wants to make furniture. Alden Kupferberg, Yeah, like Buddhists. The Wolf of Wall Street is a memoir by a former stockbroker and trader Jordan Belfort, first published in September 2007. Yeah. Required fields are marked *. Jordan Belfort: Pound for pound theyre stronger than grizzly bears, and, if you want to know the truth, they happen to scare the living shit out of me. Tell me. Jordan Belfort: They won't be able to see your review if you only submit your rating. Good! Its a whazy. $26,000 for one fucking dinner! I finished my paperwork and I was, just had a couple minutes. What are you, a fuckin owl? Naomi Lapaglia, Oh my God! Jordan Belfort: And then once right after lunch. No one's gonna fucking die! Oh, my God! And from now on it's gonna be nothing but short, short skirts around the house. You're not fucking taking my children you vicious fucking cunt, you! Many weren't happy with the ending, though it was a very accurate representation of this day and time, and falls in line with typical Scorsese films. What a greek tragedy! Whose fucking teeth are you gonna knock in? Once in the morning, right after I work out, then once right after lunch. Im gonna let you in on a little secret about these telephones. That was you! Naomi Lapaglia: Yeah, I'm sure. Does your girlfriend think youre fucking worthless loser? Jordan and Donnie cut up lines as a HOSTESS serves Bloody . Absolutely not but we were making more money then we knew what to do with. Jordan Belfort, There is no such thing as bad publicity. Alden Kupferberg, the Sea Otter, didn't even graduate. What do you mean happy for me? And they're all shaved too. Jesus Christ. Bald. FBI! Fuck you! So It's Wolf of Wall Street, But for Learning How to Pick Up Girls Stevie Emerson 1.22M subscribers 1.6M views 2 years ago WATCH BLOOPERS FOR EVERY VIDEO. Naomi Lapaglia: I wanna be with the fuckin' Oompa Loompas! Donnie Azoff: Alden Kupferberg: Donnie and I were going out on our own. And today, you needed to clean your fishbowl, today? People have been buzzing about Martin Scorsese's new movie, "The Wolf of . Are you out of your fucking mind? Jordan Belfort: She's already got C-cups, but now she wants FUCKIN' DOUBLE D'S! After they left I checked the apartment. Jordan Belfort: It was obscene, in the normal world. It is no matter. ~ Jordan Belfort. You're a father now, Jordan. Act as if you have unmatched confidence and then people will surely have confidence in you. Back in the 1990s, Belfort ran Stratton-Oakmont, a Long Island-based pump and dump that . Jordan Belfort: Jordan Belfort: Get away from the window! You have to unlearn all the thoughts that were making you poor and replace them with new thoughts rich thoughts. Jordan Belfort, The easiest way to make money is create something of such value that everybody wants and go out and give and create value, the money comes automatically. Jordan Belfort, Money is the oxygen of capitalism and I wanna breathe more than any man alive. Jordan Belfort, Act as if! While he runs his activity with rather questionable methods, he lives a stormy relationship . When you get really good at it, you'll fucking be stroking and you'll be thinking about money. This 10-digit number is your confirmation number. It had nothing to fucking do with me. [pauses] I check my messages every day when I come home from work my answering machine zero! Cinemark But he didn't go along with us. Donnie. Donnie Azoff: Yeah, I jerk off. So take a good look, daddy. Jordan Belfort: Naomi Lapaglia: I was hooked in seconds. Thank you for your vote of confidence and welcome to the Investor's Center. Naomi Lapaglia: Money doesn't just buy you a better life - better food, better cars, better pussy - it also makes you a better person. And I choose rich every fucking time. Terms and Policies And when it gets in, I'll give you a call and you come pick it up. You have to excuse my friend. Drugs. [narration] Pride. Jordan Belfort: You know, every time someone rises up in this world, there's always gonna be some asshole trying to drag 'em down. Don't watch with family, seriously. I don't love you anymore, Jordan! You're not fucking taking my goddamn fucking kids! Jordan Belfort: Belfort was played by Leonardo DiCaprio in the film . Perfect Hildy Azoff: Verified reviews are considered more trustworthy by fellow moviegoers. Then came the Pink Sheet hookers, who were the lowest form of all, usually a streetwalker or the sort of low-class hooker who showed up in response to a desperate late-night phone call to a number in Screw magazine or the yellow pages. In fact, you never did anything wrong in the first place. The Wolf of Wall Street: Directed by Martin Scorsese. He thinks you're fuckin' Gordon Gekko. That spoke volumes, didnt it?, The three of us exchanged glances but said nothing. Donnie Azoff: Say hi, mommy! The real question is this: was all this legal? Coming Soon. Jordan Belfort: But we have to pretend we know. Mark Hanna, The name of the game, moving the money from the clients pocket to your pocket. Mark Hanna, Always keep the client on the Ferris wheel. Some little hooker you were fucking last night? Don't do that. They usually cost a hundred dollars or less, and if you didnt wear a condom, youd get a penicillin shot the next day and then pray that your dick didnt fall off. My name is Jordan Belfort. Most of the quotes by Jordan Belfort are very inspiring and Ive even included some funny quotes from the movie. I have some really, really great news. I'm fucked up, Brad. I'm a mutt. I just came. I have a low blood sugar thyroid thing Jordan Belfort: From movie lovers to businessmen alike The Wolf of Wall Street is arguably one of the most iconic films of the 21st century. You know what? Pick up the phone and start dialing! A place for mercenaries. All rights reserved. Come for me. Wouldn't you like to know how to sell it? How the fuck else are you supposed to do this job? Martin Scorsese's The Wolf of Wall Street is a darkly comic crime epic that tells the true story of stockbroker Jordan Belfort's rise to power and fall from grace. Once he was an ice cream vendor and now Jordan is the head of a stockbroker office: he's greedy, he loves power and all forms of excess. You're dealing with numbers. Donnie Azoff: Some stuff about running drugs with Rocky Aoki, you know, the founder of Benihana? Jordan Belfort: Yeah, like Buddhists. Okay, great. Wed love your help. I want you to come for me like it's the last fucking time. "Has Brad apologized yet? I take Quaaludes 10-15 times a day for my back pain, Adderall to stay focused, Xanax to take the edge off, pot to mellow me out, cocaine to wake me back up again, and morphine Well, because its awesome. Jordan Belfort, There are two keys to success in the broker business; first of all you gotta stay relaxed, secondly you gotta always get stay high. Mark Hanna, Fugayzi, fugazi. I want to. Jesus Christ. It's not like that. Jordan Belfort: I mean, when she married me she knew what she was getting into, didnt she? In London. I can get you beer if you want fuckin' beer. Come for me, baby. Donnie Azoff: Funny, self-referential, and irreverent to a fault, The Wolf of Wall Street finds Martin Scorsese and Leonardo DiCaprio at their most infectiously dynamic. Some disgusting wildebeest with three days of razor-stubble, in a sleeveless muumuu, crammed in next to you in a carload full of groceries from the fucking Price Club. Hi, fellas! It's his first day on Wall Street. Naomi Lapaglia: The movie also features the "One of Us" chant, which is a reference to the 1930s horror movie Freaks. Companies these people know. THE WOLF OF WALL STREET Drama 2013 2 hr 59 min English audio R CC Watch with free trial Buy or rent Sex. You snooks will now be targeting the wealthiest 1% of Americans. Wouldn't you like to learn how to sell it? That's right, I forgot. For a moment, I had forgotten I lived in a world where everything was for sale. Go to a trading floor on Wall Street. Jordan Belfort, OK, first rule of Wall Street Nobody and I dont care if youre Warren Buffet or Jimmy Buffet nobody knows if a stocks going up, down or f-ing sideways, least of all stockbrokers. If anyone is gonna fuck my cousin it's gonna be me, out of out of respect, you know? In which case, you know, we could start fresh. The Wolf Of Wall Street is undoubtedly one of the best movies to come out in the last decade.Fans and critics are still divided on whether it glorifies fraud or not but there is no denying that the star-studded biopic offers great entertainment. Looking for the best quotes from The Wolf of Wall Street? Drama, Listen to me, if you piss up the SEC's leg, you end up with your tits in a wringer. 25 grand to the first cocksucker to nail the bulls-eye! [hears a phone] People tend to give up. Naomi Lapaglia: The movie is popular for its engaging story and its depiction of the notorious party culture. Jordan Belfort: But I needn't have been. And who're you gonna be sitting next to? Jordan Belfort: I can't untie you! A Long Island mansion featured in Martin Scorsese's 2013 film "Wolf of Wall Street" is listed for $10 million. No, I don't wanna implode, sir. You got a minute? I got news for you. Oh, I'm good with water for now. Now as the firm taking the company public, we set the initial sales price then sold those shares right back to our friends. Mark Hanna: Jordan Belfort: I'm sure. Why why why god, why would you be so cruel as to choose a chain of fucking hibachi restaurants to take me down! Coming Soon, Regal Donnie Azoff: This is what you do? Di Caprio and Scorsese combine for one of the most fun financial movies of this decade. The image is an example of a ticket confirmation email that AMC sent you when you purchased your ticket. Max Belfort: Yeah, my wife yeah, my wife is my cousin or whatever. You gotta feed the geese to keep the blood flowing. Actually, the madness started on our very first day, when one of our brokers, Ben Jenner, christened the elevator by getting a blow job from the sales assistant. Jordan Belfort: And you got the beautiful girls there. Saturday Night Fever territory. It turned out the British weren't too different from the Swiss. [narration] It took 90 minutes for these fuckers to kick in but once they did, *pow. Jordan Belfort: Hey, everybody, listen up! I heard some stupid shit. Is she like, a first cousin? Jordan Belfort: His eyes seem to be a little bit odd, don't they? We wont be able to verify your ticket today, but its great to know for the future. You're a fucking pill dealer. Jordan Belfort: Jordan Belfort: Is it, is it mayhem? That's why we at Stratton Oakmont pride ourselves on being the best. Pop off to the bathroom, work one out any time you can. But, you drink enough and you drink a lot and it'll get you fucked up? there's some very awkward but funny, laugh out loud, moments that i'm still thinking about and laughing to myself over long after viewing. Go at it. Just give me a second. Hold on baby. Everybody on point! So, I presume you're Italian. If anyone's gonna fuck my cousin, it's gonna be me. Jordan Belfort: Naomi Lapaglia: Get off me! Honestly, I'm not bullshitting here, this is one of the nicest boats that I've ever been on. I will not die sober! They cure cancer? Jordan Belfort: Jordan Belfort: Still, give them to me young, hungry, and stupid, and in no time, I'll make 'em rich. [when asked who is Captain Ahab] Explains you. Teresa Petrillo: Sell that. Brad: I'm constantly asking myself questions. I'm really happy for you. The Wolf of Wall Street by Jordan Belfort 34,928 ratings, 3.73 average rating, 2,462 reviews Open Preview The Wolf of Wall Street Quotes Showing 1-27 of 27 "Act as if! It was a hefty sum, $5 million, and in truth it had little to do with setting them up. Jordan Belfort, On a daily basis I consume enough drugs to sedate Manhattan, Long Island, and Queens for a month. There could be. Don't fucking dare throw that fucking water at me. Trained professionals to guide you through the financial wilderness. You probably had to pay them in cash with your hands! It is no matter. Let me get that right. John, one thing I can promise you, even in this market, is that I never ask my clients to judge me on my winners. Marvel Movies Ranked Worst to Best by Tomatometer, Jurassic Park Movies Ranked By Tomatometer, The Most Anticipated TV & Streaming Shows of March 2023, Pokmon Detective Pikachu Sequel Finds Its Writer and Director, and More Movie News. By continuing, you agree to the Privacy Policy and Donnie Azoff: lastly it's down to the humour. Jordan Belfort: So you listen to me and you listen well. They're called telephones. Jordan Belfort: Donnie Azoff: Naomi Lapaglia: Oh, hey. [to the waiter] And I wanna meet Willy fuckin' Wonka, okay? I'm not talking about Buddhists or Amish. I fucked up so bad. Mark Hanna, One thing I can promise you is that I never ask my clients to judge me on my winners, I ask them to judge me on my losers because I have so few. Jordan Belfort, Just like that I made two grand, the other guys looked at me like I just discovered fire. Jordan Belfort, You know, just people say s**t. I dont even know. Well, technically, $72,000 last month. I mean, who the fuck wanted to live there? Mr. Hanna, you're able to do drugs during the day and then still function, still do your job? Yeah. And any fines that I have to pay wouldn't be due until after I've served my term, so we'd still have plenty of money leftover. You gotta be a fucking pal You know what, I'm gonna give you a fucking pass, just give me the case. It was a madhouse, a greed fest, with equal parts cocaine, testosterone, and body fluids. Say what you will, but the Duchess did have style. Brooklyn. When you get really good at it, youll fucking be stroking and youll be thinking about money. Mark Hanna, Her father is the brother of my mom. You cleaning your fishbowl? This is America. So, Bay Ridge, that's near Staten Island, right? No shit. Sort: Relevant Newest # movies # leonardo dicaprio # martin scorsese # wolf of wall street # the wolf of wall street is an initial public offering. There's no nobility in poverty. And you wanna know what I was just thinking too? Risk is what keeps us young, isn't it, darling? I called the captain the n-word? The best GIFs are on GIPHY. And once you do fall in lovethat obsessive sort of love, that all-consuming love, where two people cant stand to be apart from each other for even a momenthow are you supposed to let a love like that pass you by? Jordan Belfort. [All at once] It's called cocaine. ~ Jordan Belfort. Out of respect. Donnie Azoff, Look, man a lot of having a kid or whatever takes risk, whether youre fuckin cousins or not, you know Donnie Azoff, Well, basically, you know, if the kid was retarded I would I would, you know, drive it up to the country and just like, you know, open the door and let it say Youre free now! You know? I can't go down there, Jordan. Quotes By Jordan Belfort. That's not why I do it. John: Does that ring a bell? You know those guys who got like the beard with, like, no mustache or some bullshit? Jordan Belfort: And all my friends are trying to fuck her, you know, and I'm not gonna let one of these assholes fuck my cousin. I'm in this for the long run, you know? Mark Hanna: Jordan Belfort: Yeah I'm sure. Jordan Belfort: Coming Soon. Why didn't you tell me, sweetheart? Naomi Lapaglia: Here's a list of a few of the best lines from the movie: I want you to deal with Your problems by becoming rich. It's never landed. Everyone wants to get rich. The Wolf of Wall Street may be an entertaining film based on a true story, but it places too much emphasis on style over substance and fails to become anything more than a compilation of short memoirs from Jordan Belfort's life. Naomi Lapaglia: Based on Jordan Belfort's autobiography. Uh, what the fuck! He must have thought we were still at the Hamptons this weekend, you know. Theyre gonna need to send in the national guard or fucking swat team, cause I aint going nowhere! Jordan Belfort, I am not gonna die sober! What? Linette Lopez. She's the best. The movie is being directed by Martin Scorsese, stars Leonardo DiCaprio, and is based on the autobiography of Wall Street castaway, Jordan Belfort. See. [bursting into laughter] [stands up tall, smiling] Her pussy was like heroin to me. I was born too - too early. If you did it long enough, he was certain to piss right back at you. Money talks and bullshit takes the bus. I do it cause I fuckin' need to. They're fuckin' - the things they're doing now, Pops, I mean, I mean, it's on a whole other level. You know? [holding his child] New world. Let me know in the comments and please share this post to help and inspire others. Jordan, it's fucking good, right? Hey, John. Brace yourself for an outrageous true story from legendary. Jordan Belfort: In 2013 it was adapted into a movie by the same name. Jean Jacques Saurel: