4. Dont just teach your children to read Teach your children to question what they read, teach them to question everything. And the supreme arrogance? Some people have no idea what they're doing, and a lot of them are really good at it. }()); And fight songs. George Carlin, The most unfair thing about life is the way it ends. Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac? Thats the problem.George Carlin, Let a smile be your umbrella, and youll end up with a face full of rain. - George Carlin quotes. The owners of this country know the truth: It's called the American dream because you have to be asleep to believe it. Death is caused by swallowing small amounts of saliva over a long period of time. Toothpicks?George Carlin, No matter how you care to define it, I do not identify with the local group. Some people see things that are, and ask, why? George Carlin quotes government sayings, in particular, are thought-provoking. Government is an important institution. } War is rich old men protecting their property by sending middle-class and lower-class men off to die. George Carlin, 78. The less said about it the better. George Carlin,Brain Droppings, Catholic, which I was until I reached the age of reasonGeorge Carlin, They say that instead of cursing the darkness, one should light a candle. Laugh until you gasp for breath.George Carlin, The caterpillar does all the work, but the butterfly gets all the publicity.George Carlin, Honesty may be the best policy, but its important to remember that apparently, by elimination, dishonesty is the second-best policy.George Carlin, People always tell me Have a nice day. Well what if I dont want to? A comedian can say things that you may not want to hear but need to. Everyone smiles in the same language. George Carlin, 35. Let me know in the comments below and please share this post. Like the boogie man. "Boy everyone in this country is running around yammering about their fucking rights. Whether we agreed with his acerbiccommentary or not, his words always reminded us of how sharp a weapon humor can be in slicing through the surface of our assumptions and leaving us, as he would say, gasping for breath.. Carlin, who was known for spewing critical rhetoric against the government, organized religion and big business, first delivered the quote during his 2005 HBO comedy special, Life Is Worth. 2. Thats the problem., I call him Governor Bush because thats the only political office hes ever held legally in this country., Political correctness is Americas newest form of intolerance, and it is especially pernicious because it comes disguised as tolerance., Forget the politicians. When you die, it all stays here. When youre born in America, you get a front row seat. George Carlin, 48. In this blog post, well take a look at some of his best quotes on the subject. And probably increase.George Carlin, And heres something else, another problem you might have: Suppose your prayers arent answered. I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, Wheres the self-help section? She said if she told me, it would defeat the purpose. But he loves you. Its so fuckin heroic. George Carlin, 18. Bipartisan usually means that a larger-than-usual deception is being carried out. In this article, we present to you some of the famous George Carlin Quotes on Government, Marriage, Love, Life, Religion, Death, Voting, Freedom, Politics and More with their meaning. Died: June 22, 2008 (aged 71) George Carlin Quotes . Tell people theres an invisible man in the sky who created the universe, and the vast majority will believe you. Carlin was noted for his black comedy and his thoughts on politics, the English language, psychology, religion, and various taboo subjects. 87 Best George Carlin Quotes On Education, Politics & Life Yeah, I know, youre thinking. "I have a right, you have no right, we have a right." Folks I hate to spoil your fun, but. Thats the problem. The future will soon be a thing of the past. ! Your cat thinks the dog's an asshole. If you would like to change your settings or withdraw consent at any time, the link to do so is in our privacy policy accessible from our home page.. I dont have to tell you it goes without saying there are some things better left unsaid. var ue_mid = "A1PQBFHBHS6YH1"; When you're born you get a ticket to the freak show. Were gonna save the fuckin planet? And, by the way, theres nothing wrong with the planet in the first place. Theyre always people who tell us to live together in harmony and try to love one another: Jesus, Gandhi, Lincoln, John Kennedy, Bobby Kennedy, Medgar Evers, Malcolm X, Martin Luther King, John Lennon. Im not sure silencing people or forcing them to alter their speech is the best method for solving problems that go much deeper than speech. George Carlin's Estate, via HBO. The reason I talk to myself is that Im the only one whose answers I accept.George Carlin. Thats the only thing keeping it and expanding it wherever possible. Sooner or later the people in this country are going to realize: the government does not give a fuck about them. By the way, it's the same big club they use to beat you over the head with all day long when they tell you what to believe. Conservatives say if you dont give the rich more money, they will lose their incentive to invest. a[a9] = { May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house. George Carlin > Quotes > Quotable Quote - Goodreads.com " Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups. George Carlin, A house is just a place to keep your stuff while you go out and get more stuff.George Carlin, Theres no present. Life gets really simple once you cut out all the bull shit they teach you in school. George Carlin. When Thomas Edison worked late into the night on the electric light, he had to do it by gas lamp or candle. Im talking about the real owners now the real owners. #privileges. This is what we have to offer. A house is just a place to keep your stuff while you go out and get more stuff. George Carlin, 16. George Carlin, If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?George Carlin, I like it when a flower or a little tuft of grass grows through a crack in the concrete. George Carlin Philosophy, Real, Lying 192 Copy quote I've set my own rules to live by. !function(){function n(n,t){var r=i(n);return t&&(r=r("instance",t)),r}var r=[],c=0,i=function(t){return function(){var n=c++;return r.push([t,[].slice.call(arguments,0),n,{time:Date.now()}]),i(n)}};n._s=r,this.csa=n}(); Are these people kidding? He was also known for his outspoken views on government and politics. Interview with Todd Leopold, edition.cnn.com. Ice Cube Shares George Carlin Quote About Politicians: 'They - Newsweek Here is one I would suggest: Alcohol will turn you into the same asshole your father was. What George Carlin Believed About Religion Whats that, a bonus? googletag.pubads().setTargeting("sid", "osid.b75ee1b4ab41ae6cecc3e4c769a5b3df"); Did you ever stop to thnk about all the people we kill? People who say they dont care what people think are usually desperate to have people think they dont care what people think. George Carlin, 28. Witty George Carlin Quotes 1. But there is an I in independence, individuality, and integrity. George Carlin, 14. Weve learned how to make a living but not a life. You have no choice. A = p.createElement(s); They will only bring you down to their level and beat you with experience. George Carlin, I like it when a flower or a little tuft of grass grows through a crack in the concrete. Disclaimer: As an Amazon Associate We earn from qualifying purchases. This is what we have to offer. Have you ever noticed that the only metaphor we have in our public discourse for solving problems is to declare war on it? 123 Witty George Carlin Quotes on Life and Politics - Internet Pillar Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups. return true; You have owners. They own, and control the corporations. "Application": "GoodreadsMonolith", People are wonderful one at a time. Maybe this time itll work. George Carlin, 59. We talk too much,love too seldom, and hate too often. I see a glass thats twice as big as it needs to be. George Carlin, Death is caused by swallowing small amounts of saliva over a long period of time. George Carlin, Careful, if you think too much, theyll take you away. George Carlin, I think people should be allowed to do what they want. Get future posts byemail,oryou can follow us onInstagram,Pinterest,andFacebook. My first rule: I don't believe anything the government tells me. Every day I beat my own previous record for the number of consecutive days Ive stayed alive. The planet is fine. Lists. Some people have to go to work and dont have time for all that. He had a way of critiquing and making fun of the government without necessarily getting into trouble. Right in the fucking head! And a list of people they're going to visit at 3am. 1. The first one is: 'Never believe ANYthing the government says.'. He loves you. pubID: '3211', adServer: 'googletag', bidTimeout: 4e3, params: { aps_privacy: '1YN' } If churches want to play the game of politics, let them pay admission like everyone else. The real reason that we cant have the Ten Commandments in a courthouse: You cannot post Thou shalt not steal, Thou shalt not commit adultery, and Thou shalt not lie in a building full of lawyers, judges, and politicians. (function() { Thats the only thing keeping it and expanding it wherever possible. George Carlin, 57. gads.type = "text/javascript"; The planet is fine. George Carlin 13. Did you ever stop to think about all the people we kill? Don't sweat the petty things and don't pet the sweaty things. And a list of people theyre going to visit at 3am. Keep in mind, the news media are not independent; they are a sort of bulletin board and public relations firm for the ruling class-the people who run things. 101 Marianne Williamson Quotes That Will Enlighten You. Theres only the immediate future and the recent past.George Carlin, Regarding the fitness craze: America has lost its soul; now its trying to save its body. George Carlin,Brain Droppings, If you cant beat them, arrange to have them beaten.George Carlin, Just cause you got the monkey off your back doesnt mean the circus has left town.George Carlin, And although I broke a lot of laws as a teenager, I straightened out immediately upon turning eighteen, when I realized the state had a legal right to execute me. George Carlin,Brain Droppings, Some national parks have long waiting lists for camping reservations. Vicious Quotes Page 5. . You do drugs, alcohol, you party, you get ready for high school. We all need to let loose and laugh at things once in a while and making other people laugh as well as think and find meaning behind your jokes is an exceptional talent George Carlin has. Everyone should try to scratch their name on the bomb of life. George Carlin, 5. George Carlin was posthumously awarded the Mark Twain Prize for American Humor in 2008, after he passed away that year at the age of 71. George Carlin died on June 22, 2008, from cardiac failure at the age of 71. Conservatives say if you dont give the rich more money, they will lose their incentive to invest. Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups. George Carlin, 39. When you have to wait a year to sleep next to a tree, something is wrong.George Carlin, I dont have to tell you it goes without saying there are some things better left unsaid. My first rule, I dont believe anything the government tells me And I dont take very seriously the media or the press in this country. George Carlin, 82. Dont look for it. Im not sure thats the way to fight discrimination. Let George Carlin Inspire You! #shorts #georgecarlin #motivataion # They own everything. The caterpillar does all the work, but the butterfly gets all the publicity. } Some of our partners may process your data as a part of their legitimate business interest without asking for consent. Inspirational George Carlin Quotes 1. We dont even know how to take care of ourselves; we havent learned how to care for one another. } //